Networking Events Are Dead. Here's What Actually Works in Sales.

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• Tag Group Business Insights
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Three weeks ago I watched another "networking expert" tell a room full of salespeople to "work the room like a shark." I nearly choked on my coffee. Not because the advice was wrong—though it absolutely was—but because I'd given that exact same garbage advice for seven years when I was first starting out as a sales trainer in Melbourne.

The truth? Traditional networking events are where good salespeople go to waste their time and bad salespeople go to feel busy.

I've been in the sales training game for 18 years now, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that 87% of "networking events" are just expensive excuses for people to exchange business cards they'll never look at again. The other 13%? Well, they're expensive excuses for people to drink mediocre wine and complain about their quotas.

The Problem with Traditional Networking

Here's what nobody tells you about those glossy Chamber of Commerce mixers and industry breakfast events: they're designed for extroverts who already know how to sell. If you're an introvert (like roughly half the population), or if you're new to sales, these events are basically professional torture chambers.

I remember back in 2009—this was during the GFC when everyone was desperate for leads—I attended 47 networking events in six months. Forty-seven! I have the receipts to prove it. You know how many qualified prospects I generated? Three. And one of those turned out to be my neighbour's cousin who was just being polite.

The fundamental flaw with traditional networking is that everyone's hunting. Nobody's helping. It's like a room full of people trying to sell insurance to each other. Which, coincidentally, is exactly what most networking events feel like.

What Actually Works Instead

Forget the events. Build relationships.

The best salespeople I know—and I've trained over 3,000 of them across Australia—don't "network." They connect. There's a massive difference.

Take Sarah from Brisbane. She's a software sales rep who consistently hits 150% of her target. Sarah's never been to a networking event in her life. Instead, she spends 30 minutes every Tuesday morning sending personalised LinkedIn messages to people in her industry. Not sales pitches. Just genuine comments on their posts or congratulations on their achievements.

Result? Last quarter alone, three major deals came directly from those "non-networking" conversations.

Or consider David, a Melbourne-based financial advisor who built his entire client base by volunteering at local business mentoring programs. He's not there to sell—he's there to help. The sales happen naturally because people buy from experts they trust, not from strangers who cornered them at a cocktail party.

The New Rules of Sales Networking

Rule One: Stop networking. Start helping.

Instead of asking "How can this person help me?" ask "How can I help this person?" It's a fundamental mindset shift that changes everything. When you lead with value, sales follow. When you lead with sales pitches, people run.

Rule Two: Quality over quantity.

I'd rather have five genuine business relationships than 500 business cards collecting dust in my desk drawer. Focus on building real connections with people who could genuinely benefit from your expertise, not anyone with a pulse and a LinkedIn profile.

Rule Three: Be consistently inconsistent.

This sounds contradictory, but hear me out. Be consistent in your follow-up and relationship building. But be inconsistent in your approach. Sometimes send articles. Sometimes make introductions. Sometimes just check in without any agenda. Predictable "touches" feel like sales automation.

The Platform Strategy That Actually Works

Here's something controversial: LinkedIn is overrated for prospecting but underrated for relationship building.

Most salespeople use LinkedIn like a cold-calling tool. They connect and immediately pitch. It's the digital equivalent of walking up to strangers at a party and asking them to buy your stuff. Cringeworthy and ineffective.

Instead, use LinkedIn like a professional magazine. Share insights. Comment thoughtfully on other people's content. Build your reputation as someone worth knowing, not someone trying to sell something.

Twitter—sorry, X—is actually better for real-time relationship building if you're in the right industry. The conversations move faster and feel more natural than LinkedIn's corporate atmosphere.

But here's the kicker: the best networking happens offline, in small groups, around shared interests that have nothing to do with sales.

The Coffee Shop Revolution

My most successful clients have stolen this idea from the tech industry: the casual coffee meeting. But not the "let me tell you about my product" coffee meeting. The "I saw your article about supply chain challenges and have some thoughts" coffee meeting.

Melbourne's coffee culture makes this ridiculously easy, but it works everywhere. The key is having something genuinely valuable to discuss—industry insights, mutual connections, or solving a problem they've mentioned publicly.

I know a commercial property agent in Sydney who builds all his relationships over coffee meetings near his clients' offices. He's not selling property during these meetings. He's discussing market trends, sharing insights about their industry, sometimes just catching up on their business challenges. The property deals happen later, naturally, when they need his services.

Why Most Sales Training Gets This Wrong

Here's the dirty secret about sales training: most of it's designed by people who haven't sold anything in decades.

They teach networking like it's 1995. Exchange cards. Follow up within 24 hours. Add people to your database. Track touchpoints. It's all transactional thinking disguised as relationship building.

Real relationship building is messy. It's inconsistent. It can't be automated or systematised. It requires genuine interest in other people's success, not just your own.

This is why companies like HubSpot and Salesforce have built billion-dollar businesses around authentic content and education rather than traditional sales tactics. They help first, sell second.

The Authenticity Problem

Speaking of authenticity—and this might sting a bit—if you're consciously "networking" for sales purposes, you're probably being inauthentic.

People can smell agenda from a kilometre away. The moment they sense you're only interested in them as a potential customer, the relationship is damaged. Maybe irreparably.

I learned this the hard way in 2012 when I "networked" my way out of a significant partnership opportunity. I was so focused on the potential deal that I missed the actual relationship. The prospect later told me he felt like a transaction, not a person.

That conversation changed how I approach business relationships entirely.

The Geographic Advantage

Australia's relatively small business community is actually a massive advantage for relationship-based selling. In most capital cities, there are only a few degrees of separation between decision-makers in any given industry.

This means reputation travels fast—both good and bad. Build a reputation as someone who helps others succeed, and opportunities will find you. Build a reputation as a pushy networker, and doors will close before you even knock.

Perth's oil and gas community is probably the best example of this. Everyone knows everyone. The successful salespeople there aren't the ones working every industry event—they're the ones whose expertise and integrity are so well-known that people call them when they need help.

The Long Game

None of this happens overnight. Building genuine business relationships takes time. Usually years. Traditional networking promises immediate results, which is why it's so appealing and so ineffective.

The salespeople who really succeed play the long game. They invest in relationships before they need them. They help people without keeping score. They become known for their expertise and their character, not their products.

It's harder than showing up to networking events and collecting business cards. But it's also infinitely more rewarding—both financially and personally.

What This Means for You

Start today. Pick five people in your industry whose work you genuinely respect. Follow their content. Comment thoughtfully. Share their insights with your network. Look for opportunities to help them, even in small ways.

Don't pitch them anything. Don't even mention your products or services unless they specifically ask.

Just be helpful. Be consistent. Be genuine.

The sales will follow. They always do.

Trust me—I've been getting this wrong and then getting it right for long enough to know the difference.